Stressful Breastfeeding?

Assalamualaikum...

I salute every mother out there yang ada baby dan masih sempat berblogging, masih sempat bekerja kat office, masih sempat menjana pendapatan untuk membantu suami, masih sempat active dalam social organisation, masih sempat rajin beractivity, masih sempat fulltime menjadi housewife yang betul2 bole manage masa yang ada...

I personally think I'm not that perfect.

So, after more than a week, or probably 2weeks ke?

Now I finally have time to write...

And this is all because I need some space too to write something that always bothering my mind, something that some might think this is not important, but for me this means a lot.

This is about breast feeding...

Warning: before you read this, I'm begging you to not be a formula-feeder-hater. Everyone face different situation in their life and I'm trying to give my best for my baby. So please help me to find a solution but not condemn me...

FEW HOURS AFTER DELIVER BABY RAFI

Nurse asked me to breastfeed Rafi, I tried so hard tapi susu badan kuar sikit je...

Nurse pon suggest untuk tambah susu formula pakai string.

Memang sedih, baru few hours je umur Rafi, dah minum susu formula.

Tapi me taknak dia dehydrated plak, lagi pon hari tue lepas bersalin Rafi xbole balik rumah, kne admit 3hari, so betul2 xnak buat dia makin sakit kalau xminum susu.

BABY ARRIVED HOME

Baby sampai rumah, my susu supply masih je sedikit.

Dah minum susu (me ambil susu biasa je cam HL, dutch lady, bukan susu tepung sbb me xbiasa minum susu tepung, sangat2 mual), dah minum jamu, makan sayur daun katuk (nature recipe utk tambah air susu) siap tanam daun katuk tue kat depan rumah, memang ada penambahan sikit, but still susu formula takes a great part sebab Rafi kuat sangat minum.

Some people said, "biasa la tue baby boy kuat minum" tapi some said that I shouldn't give Rafi susu formula, coz this and that, susu badan lagi bagus (well I'm definitely aware susu badan IS FAR MORE BETTER than susu formula, but in this situation yang supply susu badan sikit, should I left Rafi kelaparan?)

Day by day, me pump susu, so at least lau masuk bottle, Rafi happy masa minum.

Cian dia tiap2 menyusu badan baru je kejap dah menangis kepenatan, hisap2 kuar sikit je...

And this is goes on and on sampai 1 bulan...

ONE MONTH CLINIC CHECK UP

Masa bagi tahu nurse keadaan camni, nurse marah dan cakap how come susu badan sikit?

I said I don't know memang sikit...

So dia paksa juga me untuk breastfeed baby, bagi baby hisap so susu automatically akan bertambah juga.

Dia tak marah pon me pakai extra susu formula, just nak lebihkan portion susu badan.

Alhamdulillah, ada la orang yang bagi support.

After these while, me rasa orang2 terdekat xberapa support utk betul2 breastfeed baby.

Yang ada, bole marah je,without giving me any good advice.

Lagi wat me stress, lagi la susu tue xkuar...

BABY ONE MONTH - TWO MONTHS

Dalam satu bulan ini, on and off breastfeed.

Rafi makin kuat menyusu, tapi selepas hari tue balik daripada klinik dan paksa bf Rafi (2-3 hari me biar dia menangis2 menjerit2 nak susu formula xnak susu badan, sakit dan sedih hati tengok nangis2 bole sampai 1 jam xberenti) lama2 dia nak sikit2 minum susu badan, alhamdulillah...

Tapi... just 1 day sebelum gi klinik utk check up 2bulan, tetibe Rafi cirit birit.

Dah tue malamnye demam, suhu sampai nak cecah 38'...

Bawa gi clinic, doc cakap ok je normal suhu 37.1' dan dia bagi paracetamol.

Malam tue juga Rafi ok balik...

The next day gi clinic utk 2 months check up pon, xde ape sangat...

But, lepas few days cirit biritnye berkurang, dan dah tukar bagi susu formula yang (rasanya) lagi elok, Rafi dah xnak bf lagi...

Before this ingatkan sebab sakit je, so I just waited sampai dia sihat.

Tengok2, dia xnak langsung, menangis kuat tengok me dah siap2 nak bf dia.

Macam trauma, ade la... Tapi trauma from what???

I just cant remember anything yang  bole dia jadi trauma cam tu...

And this is goes on and on start from 2 months tue sampai sekarang almost 2 months 3weeks usia Rafi.

SEDIH HATI MAMA

Rafi, sedih hati  mama, rase macam I'm not a 100% perfect mother coz I'm not bf-ing my baby, and this is so stressful.

Even so, based on experience, I always try to take it easy.

I smile everytime I try to bf him, and he refused.

I still call him a good boy everytime he cried and pushed me away.

I know if I stress then it would worsen the situation.

Last week, I finally found this product:

Which is quite good actually for babies yang dah terbiasa ngan puting botol.

Me letak bende nie kat mulut baby, and dia nak hisap.

But the bad news is, now my susu badan dah berenti, dah xkuar lagi.

Which is so sad, lambat sangat me jumpe product nie...

Sekarang nie nak keep on ikhtiar while bertanya2, browsing2...

Is it possible utk susu badan yang dah berhenti keluar someday leh keluar lagi?

What kind of thing yang me bole buat utk dapatkan susu tue semula?

One more thing, kat Malaysia nie ada clinic ke organisation utk breastfeeding x? Yang bole bagi step by step guidance sampai baby nak breastfeed lagi.

Penat googling around, same advices, tapi xbole apply kat my baby, guess every baby ada character sendiri2 and how to deal with it pon lain2 cara, that's why I think I need to find a place and person/doctor yang bole guide me day by day...

All mommies and bloggers, doakan saya leh bf baby lagi yer.

Teriris hati tiap2 jumpe mommies lain dan tanya bf ke formula?

When I said formula and she said bf, I was sooo desperate :(

Ya Allah... berikanlah yang terbaik untuk baby Rafi...

Whatever it is...

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Did I say something wrong, ppl?

I'm so happy with the fact that I'm a preggy woman now.

Terlebih lagi kerana diagnose awal doktor pasal kandungan yang xsihat dan tengok2 everything is okay, so memang excited sangat2...

Memang sebelum nie nak rahsiakan dari sume orang, ada orang tanya pon I said "No, I'm not preggy yet." even in my heart ada rasa takut juga, preggy nape cakap tak preggy, betul2 xpreggy kang baru tahu.

Tapi memang ada rasa nak rahsiakan dulu.

But since I decided to let my family know, why not all my friends? 

Or everyone in the world?

Isn't that we have to spread good news?

Macam berita pernikahan, kebahagiaan, bagusnya untuk dikongsi sama2...

But then, ada satu hal pon yang baru je tersedar...

Just one day before I told everyone yang I preggy, one of my best friend kat Bandung baru je lost his/her baby (Al-Fatihah for baby Ghazi)

Dah 5bulan dalam kandungan.

And they all baru je datang KL tengah bulan lepas...

Probably the wife penat sangat berjalan kot, atau memang penat keje kat ofis dia, gugurlah baby diorang.

And the next day me announced yang me preggy.

Hope they don't mind.

Me ada chat on that day, the husband is my best friend, dia chat pasal bende nak belikan me tee shirt dr Bandung yang he promised before, but he didn't say anything about my pregnancy.

I just hoping he didn't know it for this moment...

inmagine.com

And I posted a story about my pregnancy on my fb too...

Suddenly one of my best friend kat KL replied with this:

" :( '

You know what that means? A gesture of sad face.

He is married since last year (lupa bulan apa, kne cari2 entry kat blog masa me pegi kenduri kahwin dia) tapi sampai sekarang belum dikaruniakan zuriat.

And he said he was sad because of that.

Me rasa macam happy di atas kesedihan orang lain tau.

Rasa macam menyesal plak bagi tahu orang2 yang me nie preggy.

Tak fikirkan pasal kesedihan orang yang tengah menanti nantikan masa2 preggy.

Nape ye jadi serba salah macam nie?

If I was on his shoe, i might be sad too kan?

Ade la kawan2 yang dah menikah lama tapi lum preggy juga, they still say congrats.

But still, hati nie rasa xsedap hati.

Salahkah saya bercerita pasal kehamilan nie pada seluruh dunia?

Mungkin x ini bole jadi cara untuk kawan2 pon bersemangat untuk usaha lagi mendapatkan zuriat?

Ataukah bende nie akan buat kawan2 yang belum dapat rizki lagi tue jadi 'down'?

Sebelumnye saya nak mintak maaf kat semua kalau berita yang sangat membahagiakan hati saya dan family saya nie bole jadi berita yang membuat kalian sedih.

I pray for you all too, friends...

Anakku pon nak kawan ramai2, so saya doakan semua bole cepat preggy juga.

Nanti lahir sama2 kan best, bole la pegi sekolah sama2 :)

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Saya hanya perlu kata "MAAF"

Bukan satu kali dua kali...

Rasanya sering sangat ada masalah camnie...

And selalu libatkan my family...

We just want to hear "SORRY" from you.

I just don't understand why it is so hard for you to say it?

Kecut hati everytime dengar complain pasal bende nie je dari my family.

Bende SANGAT SANGAT KECIK...

Perkataan "MAAF"

Yang last2 bole buat cerita buruk kat belakang...

I just don't get it...

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Hadiah Contest Untuk Hantaran Kawen? Bole Ke?

Hi, bloggers..

Adakah korang pernah menang contests/giveaways then hadiah tue letak kat hantaran kahwin korang? Boleh ke?

Me pernah menang contest Nuffnang...baca kat SINI.

Dan me dah niat nak letak hadiah tue untuk hantaran.

Pastue ada la menang GA dari blog nie, plan nak letak hadiah tue kat hantaran since me memang xpakai lagi hadiah tue, still new...

Bole x?

Any idea?

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U Borrow I Susah... *sigh*

This was actually happened on 11th April 2011. 

I still remember the date as I'm holding my credit card bill here...

A friend of mine was going to make a trip to Serawak with his mom and family.

I was with him that time and saw him 'fighting' with his laptop trying to buy ticket online but always FAILED. He was using his Maybank Card.

He kept on calling his mom and so worried coz afraid won't be able to fly.

Til one time, I feel so pity about him.

So when he asked whether I have any card, then I said "I do".

I lend him my credit card, which sooooo stupid thing I did that time.

I had bad experience with a friend of mine before, she didn't pay me like a month after she use my credit card for buying a flight ticket. Until my mom so pissed off too and drove to the friend's house to collect the money.

Well, yes there is a connection with mom, as it is a subsidiary card which my family has promised that it is ONLY FOR URGENT THING.

Yes, I never use it. No no never.

Especially to buy Malaysia Airlines ticket, coz my family only use Air Asia/KLM.

So yeah, as a friend, I let him used the card.

I leave it on him on how much flight fare he bought.

He already mention he bought 3 tickets and DONE.

He said he'll pay ASAP.

I remember end of April I was at Jakarta and I finally received RM 1k from him.

He said there's more he'd want to give.

Ok, I thought he wanted to pay me MORE as an appreciation for the card I lend him.

I don't know how much he used, when he gave me RM 1k, I thought total spending was 1k.

But then when the bill arrived, early of May, there stated that:

He used the card for MAS flight tickets of RM2k!

And not only on that day, abut 2 days after that he purchased another one!

Without my permission...

Mom was a bit shocked that I didn't knew how much my friend's spent.

I was so careless, I know...

I trust the person too much.

What mom wanted was to get my friend pays me back ASAP coz the interest started to run.

UNTIL TODAY, 2 MONTHS LATER...

He hasn't paid the balance yet.

And I'm just too tired of asking.

MALU. Macam along jer minta2 duit.

Last night was my last day of me waiting patiently.

Asked for the money, coz today I'm flying back to Jakarta, supposedly bring the money with me.

But suddenly he went on missing...

I sent him sooo many SMSes. 

I mad. Yes I'm soooo mad.

How could he?

I was ikhlas helping him.

But what he did to me?

Malu, seriously malu.

Malu minta orang bayar hutang kita.

He supposed to be malu to not paying what he borrowed.

Tapi peliknye, me yang malu...

Coz been asking like so many times...

Knp kne tunggu me marah???

Why not you update me on how you going to pay?

I always ask you to pay half, or any amount you have now.

But you never ever listen.

WHY BUYING SO MUCH WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT?

And this morning he texted me he will try to get 50%

50%???

Only 50%???

Then who'll pay the interest????

Me?

Ok cun!

THIS IS GONNA BE MY LAST TIME LENDING MONEY TO SOMEONE.

NOT EVEN MY BEST FRIEND!

Moral of the story: don't trust anyone that much, especially bab bab duit cengginih...

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