Saya hanya perlu kata "MAAF"

Bukan satu kali dua kali...

Rasanya sering sangat ada masalah camnie...

And selalu libatkan my family...

We just want to hear "SORRY" from you.

I just don't understand why it is so hard for you to say it?

Kecut hati everytime dengar complain pasal bende nie je dari my family.

Bende SANGAT SANGAT KECIK...

Perkataan "MAAF"

Yang last2 bole buat cerita buruk kat belakang...

I just don't get it...

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Wedding Prep: Kenduri Kahwin Nampak Membazirkan Duit? | 8 days left

Alasan... Ya memang alasan...

Kenduri kahwin zaman sekarang memang xmacam kenduri kahwin zaman dulu.

Kenduri kahwin kat bandar tentu la lain dari kenduri kahwin kat kampong.

Tapi kenduri kahwin kat kampong pon sekarang xnak kalah dari kenduri kat bandar, nak gempak juga, nak grand juga, ape2 la...

Ramai orang cakap,

BUAT APA HABISKAN DUIT BANYAK UNTUK KENDURI NIE?

MEMBAZIR JE, BAIK SIMPAN DUIT TUE UNTUK MASA DEPAN.

Well, that was my first thought of my wedding...

Argue ngan parents bukan setakat satu kali dua kali, ya Allah, hampir tiap2 hari.

Di awal2 perancangan budget kahwin, saya pon dah banyak kali cakap, buat la yang wajib menurut agama, buat kenduri kecik je janji semua orang tahu yang kita nie dah rasmi berkahwin...

Tapi, bukan itu yang ada dalam minda parents.

Which I really opposed them at the first place.

Masa my brother nak kahwin, dia baru je habis belajar dari oversea.

Cari keje kat Jakarta susah nak mampos, eventho u are oversea grad.

Keje2 yang ada ye keje freelance je...

Nak kahwin??? Nak... Usia dah lebih dari 30.

Pasangan dah dapat dah...

Tapi, apa yang ada? Belum punya apa2...

Nak biarkan parents kuar duit banyak2 pon cam kesian gak.

Arguing with parents? Memang la...

My brother nak kawen kat penghulu je, bayar Rp 250,000 (RM75) untuk duit administration, bagi mas kahwin satu set alat sholat (telekung, sajadah, etc) tambah cincin. Settled.

Mom and dad said, "Mana ada orang kahwin macam tue je? Kne wat kenduri."

My experience now, pegi pejabat agama nak kahwin pun bukan RM75 tapi lebih dari RM700 kan?
Ok gaduh2 la started from that point on.

As a sister, saya nak menghargai calon bini abang hari tue.

Takkan abang xbawa hantaran untuk calon istri dia...

So, me and my sister pon busy sumbang barang2 untuk hantaran, dari kasut, beg, perfume, toiletries, baju, semua la...

Then mom pon siapkan satu set jewellery sebab alat sholat tue xboleh jadi mahar, ustad cakap perempuan tue kne ada harga, bukan maksud alat sholat tue xada harganya, of course ada harganya, lagi untuk mengingatkan istri akan Allah senantiasa, tapi mahar tue something yang kita bole simpan as harta bende, untuk harga 'membeli' perempuan tue.

Dari situ je, dah mulai la ada hantaran.

Saya pon xsetuju ngan kahwin yang habiskan duit banyak, tapi apa perasaan family perempuan tue yang anak dia diambil suami, dibawa keluar dari rumah tapi anak dia 'xdihargai'.

Itu je yang ada dalam minda hari tue, coz I sayangkan my sister in law.

Then mom and dad told me how happy they are, anak sulung nak kahwin.

Dah habis belajar, tengah cari keje, insyaallah dapat keje bagus.

Dahtue nak kahwin gak...

Berkaca2 mata diorang ucapkan rasa syukur tue.

Nak sangat berkongsi kebahagiaan, buat satu majlis kenduri kahwin.

Eventho dah ada kenduri kat pihak perempuan, tapi nak juga buat kat lelakinyer side.

Kenduri? Bukan habis RM5k - RM10k.

Tapi nak macam mane lagi?

They were so excited yang diorang fikir money doesn't matter.

As long as parents mampu, they will happily dan sangat ikhlas arrange kenduri tue.
Coz the kenduri here (at my place and environment) was actually not a celebration of pengantin.

Tapi celebration of how proud parents nak menghantar anak dia ke step berumah tangga.

Saya rasa, selain pengantin kat tengah tue yang kat tepi kanan kiri tue mungkin lagi hepi.

Mom said to give her one last chance to make their son and daughter happy, at least for the last time sebelum anak2nya hidup secara independent.

Kalau dah berumah tangga, parents pon nak involve apa2 pon dah xboleh.

So that is what happen with my perkahwinan.

I argued with parents too at the first place, just as my brother did before.

But I know, my wedding not only mean a lot to me but also parents.

My parents said, my wedding should be as meriah as my brother's at least coz first daughter is the most important in the family.

Mom said, she will be happy if I let her to make me as happy as raja ratu sehari on my wedding day.

She said, when she sees me happy, she'll be so happy too.

Ow that's so touching, mommy...

Thanks a lot.

After all these days, my wedding preparation, I know I can't afford to pay all this.

Probably, to other people my wedding is nothing, but for me this is a lil bit too much.
What can I say?
Semua pemilihan vendor (in terms of budget) mom yang pilih.
What I did was, I prepare whatever I can prepare myself.

And whatever my parent's side yang kne siapkan, I'm trying to lower their budget.

Kne save kat sini, save kat sana.

Finding alternatives for them so that they won't spend too much.

But with output yang sama...

She doesn't want to talk about numbers, but she will try her best, if dia xmampu pon dia akan cakap kalau xmampu.

Then whenever she said so, I try finding other ways/stuffs yang lagi affordable.

I love you mom...

Sorry sebab tak pahamkan apa yang mom rasa selama ini.

Mom cakap when I have a daughter nanti, mesti saya akan rasakan perasaan ini yang akan berusaha memberikan yang paling terbaik untuk anak saya nanti.

She's my wedding organizer,

I'm just her vice president.

Dari 600 kad jemputan tue, kawan and family kat KL 10 kad je.

While me, bagi kat kawan 5 kad je.

The rest are my parents' guests.

So, I will dedicate this resepsi for mommy too.

And from mommy to me too.

Thanks, mom

:)

PS: Every wedding ada makna sendiri2 dari tiap family. When someone said my wedding (seeing from my wedding prep) is too much, I just feel so sad. You try experience this yourself. I was against all this before, but when everything comes ikhlasly from your parents, as their final wish for me, I just couldn't say No.

Thanks cik or encik Anon... 

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As happy as BCL & Ashraf Sinclair

Hari ini xada mood nak kuar rumah...

Sebetolnye banyak lagi keje2 persiapan wedding kne wat kat umah...

Semalam siapkan tambahan door gift, then gubahan hantaran xbole siap lagi coz bunga2 xcukup, kne beli lagi and I don't know where to buy bunga yang sama, me bali kat KL hari tue.

So, hari nie kat umah jer siapkan keje2 yang lum siap.

Hari tue dah janji nak siapkan keje2 freelance me cepat2 coz once I done with it, then baru dapat gaji kan, bole la seronok sikit nak berjalan cari barang hihihi...

Sambil2 wat keje, me teringat pasal orang2 cakap masa me cite me akan kahwin, then lepas orang tue tanya ngan orang mana, then me jawab "orang Malaysia" then they all were like... "Ohhh... Ashraf & BCL la nie..."

Padahal kan, ramai orang Indonesia yang kahwin ngan Malaysian nie, sebut je Manohara ngan pangeran Kelantan (haaa dah habis dah cite diorang, jodoh xpanjang), dahtue owner Rumah Kebaya ngan Photographer Ahmad Fairus (heee masuk gak diorang kat dalam list) dahtue ramai lagi... my relative pon ada, kawan pon ada...

Tapi memang yang paling femes nie cite cinta Ashraf dan Bunga (BCL)

Me suke sebab rumah tangga diorang jarang ada cite yang diorang gaduh ke, banyak  problem ke, nampak macam sweet je and harmonis.

Honestly dulu me xsuke diorang, lagi masa diorang bercouple tue ada cite pasal gambar2 diorang yang *tuuutt* kat pantai kat Bali tue...

Tapi dah la that was past... I just love to see both of them now...

so happy kan diorang...

In the pic above is one of their outfit on their wedding reception kat Hotel Sultan Jakarta.

Omg I just love the color and the kebaya.

Mom loves it too but then memang BCL nie kan kebaya2 dia sangat sexy hehe...

Especially part atas tue yang V-neck tue rendah sangat kan? Hehehhe...

Tapi memang I began to like them...

Sampai Jakarta, suke sangat tengok iklan motor Honda Spacy, diorang ada kat iklan tue.
Comel and sempoi jer both of them...

Harap2 la rumah tangga diorang kekal...

Same goes to me, even tho so many differences between us, even we both just terpisah straits jer tapi perbezaan tue banyak.

Just hope that we can get thru it dan merubah perbezaan jadi keseronokan :)

Respecting each other's culture is the key answer.

I wanna be as happy as them :)

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Should I continue my marriage plan?

Lately, every time me nak pi kuar rumah, ada je bende yang hilang...

Honestly been a week or so, I wear tudung everytime kuar rumah.

Everytime nak kuar, ada je inner yang entah letak katne, tudung pon hilang padahal semalam dah siapkan dah untuk nak pakai hari esoknye.

Pastu contact lens hilang.

Wallet.

Kunci rumah.

Every morning ada je bende yang buat kelam kabut...

Especially pasal tudung tue,

I told myself, "Nie mesti cubaan dari Allah, nak tengok malas x me nak pakai tudung kalau inner ngan tudung tue hilang2."

Then hari ini, a very tragic day for me...

Coz hari nie me SAKIT HATI yang tak terkira...

Coz of what? or who?

Who else...

The fiance.

Well, leave the hurt just for me, I won't mind.

But it hurts my mom too.

I hate that the thing made me cry, and mom cry.

I hate it so much.

Until in one extent I really think I CAN'T GO ON WITH THIS.

I can't continue the plan.

Inikah dugaan bertunang???
Letting me and mom stressed out early in the morning rushing to police station here police station there coz of him?
Not to mention hospital if finally we couldn't find him anywhere.
Then no "SORRY" from him?

No "EXPLANATION"?
Don't your parents taught you to say "Sorry"?
To clear up every problem nicely?
To be able to show the PROOF of whatever you said i's true?
I FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW MY OWN FIANCE TODAY.
YES, I DON'T KNOW HIM.

I've spoken with mom that the kebaya, the dewan, the catering, we can transfer the deposit and all to other person.

It was just the INVITATION CARD... burn.

No problem, I don't mind if the marriage will often bring me tears in future...

I will be staying in Malaysia, with no family here,

What if someday the thing happen again?

Where should I go to?

In just one day...

So many things has happened.

That make me and mom think twice of the marriage plan.

Owhh I trusted him a lot before, but now...

I think it needs like a gigantic amount of courage and sincerity to forgive him.

I just couldn't imagine what has happened today (or last night)

But I truly KECEWA of him being so unresponsible as a (grown up) man.

In front of his Future MIL summore...

So mom wanted to talk to him, panjang lebar, heart to heart.

Me and mom will be waiting for him tomoro at Singapore.

I don't know...

I'm soooo don't know what to do...
I never expected to be this much!

I don't need his promise, promise this promise that.

I DON'T NEED THAT!

I want him to ask himself how to build back his reputation???

If he thinks he can't do it,

I don't know... I might ended everything here... :(

Kenapa lelaki susah sangat diajak kerjasama?
Kenapa lelaki susah sangat nak cakap jujur?
Kenapa perempuan dianggap musuh padahal kita nie nak menolong?
And all then will only put back the trigger to their head.
Tak ada kebaikan berakar dari kebohongan...

FEELS LIKE WANNA GO SOMEHERE ALONE.

ALONE.

ALONE.

I can't trace your love from all these messed up wires.
I can't even see the depth of the shore coz the water was never so crystal clear.
I can't see you coz you always leave the room dark.
Don't you know it takes time to heal my wounds?



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Hard to Say "I Love You"

Blog,

Why oh why, I feel so hard to say "I Love You" to Mr Red Ribbon?

Kalau tengok  orang tengah bercinta macam gila2 la, dalam phone, dalam SMS, dalam Facebook, anywhere dan anytime la couple2 tue bole je say "I Love You".

BUT NOT ME

On the phone? SMS? Jarang sangat sangat. Facebook? Lagi xpernah!

My cousin even ada yang tengah berkapel, everytime dia nak hang up the phone mesti diorang cakap:

"Ok, dah ye. imissyouiloveyouineedyoumysweetbabysweetlollipopsugarcanemuahmuah"
Knp me tulis tak pakai space? Sebab diorang memang cakap laju je bab yang tue!

But, lama2 saya tengok kan... macam... bende tue 1 kebiasaan jer...

I'm seriously tengah stress everytime Mr Red Ribbon say "Luv U"

I just can't reply, tapi dalam hati kalau xreply nanti dia ingat saya dah xsayang la plak kan?

Sebetulnye sayang kat Mr Red Ribbon, tapi cam... adoi... xbiasa la ucap2 cinta2 nie...

Tunjuk je kalau kita nih sayang... Bagi senyum je for me that's the simplest way I do to show I love him and love to be with him :) Susah la bab2 nak mengayat nie...

Saya Tak Cukup Jiwang Tau!

Lagipon, dah lama plak tak jumpe, so macam, hmmm... ntah...

Bukan berkurang sayang tapi sebab I'm busy with mu own things here, dia pon busy kat Msia...

Day by day selalu kuar rumah uruskan nie tue, balik2 umah, chat, terfikir just bende2 pasal wedding je yang saya bole share kat dia.

Other than that? Nak sembang pasal cinta2? Jangan harap la!

Chat sempat kejap2 jer...

Dah satu hari penat wat nie tue, balik umah terus sambung lagi siapkan MY DIY DOOR GIFT,

Pastue time nak online dah lewat dah, Mr Red Ribbon dah nak tido...

Haiisshh...

Pemalu ke saya?

Xromantik ke saya?

Atau.....

Xbetul2 cinta ke saya kat dia?

Ish ish... dah la, xkan x cinta nak kawen? (DUSH!)

Adoi, terfikir macam2 je nie :(

Dah la... berenti merepek...

Jom join GA kat sini yer untuk semua followers, Ms Red Ribbon nak bagi2 hadiah untuk korang.

Tambah penyertaan sekarang, so bole cepat tutup GA nih :)

KLIK KAT SINI :)

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Prince William & Kate are officially husband and wife...

Just wanted to congrats both of you...

The most beautiful Royal Wedding this decade.

I might not able to come to your wedding,

Not because I have no ability to do so,

But it's just because, I'm not invited... hehehe...

But the glamorous of your wedding reminds me of Princess Diana...

One of my favourite princess, well... Ariel, the Little Mermaid... (sorry, just joking)

But seriously, almost shed a tears coz remembering of Princess Diana...

One thing I would like to hightlight here...
I just watched your wedding ceremony LIVE on TV at Jakarta...

And I notice Kate's face is better on her daily make up.

I don't know, probably becoz she was nervous?

But overall, I know both of you are loving each other.

Pray for your eternal love...

Once again, congrats :)

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Questions on Mixed Marriage...

Tengah browsing2 tetiba jumpe artikel kat SINI.

Title article tue:

Rais Yatim says: think "a thousand times" before entering a mixed marriage

According to studies only three out of ten mixed marriages work. In response, Information, Communication and Culture Minister, Rais Yatim has cautioned that young people should think “a thousand times” before committing to such unions.

So scarrryyy...

Let's discuss what's inside the article:

According to the Malaysian Mirror, he went on further to say that "the reality is that those who want to go into mixed marriages have a lot of obstacles to go through. Marriage failures are due to cultural and religious differences as well as the upbringing they go in their respective countries."

Baru Indonesia & Malaysia jer, tapi dialog yang tak kene pasal religious belief (even kita sama2 Islam) and culture sometimes ada yang tak kene. I understand each of us dah lama pegang kukuh our own culture. Sometimes kne tolerate a bit. Sometimes yang dahulu xnak tahu sikit pon, sekarang dah bole la nak ikut partner punyer culture. For example, me, I can speak BM la sikit2 hehe, dah bole la berbaju kurung. Dulu xnak sangat pakai baju kurung... Hehehe...

"Most of the marriages are a result of 'short-term love affairs' that survive for a brief period before each of the spouses go back to the cultural and religious beliefs they grew up with."

Our relationship bukan la short term. Kalau someday nak balik to our own culture tue xtahu lagi. Tapi setakat nie insyaallah both of us bole pahamkan perbezaan kita. Harap2 la xada apa2... Negara serumpun jer aper nak susah gaduh2 pasal perbezaan, tul tak?

"It's not that simple to get a Malaysian citizenship. In this sense, it is easier if it involves a foreign woman marrying a Malaysian man than otherwise."

For everyone notes, I never ever plan to marry Malaysian just to get Malaysian citizenship. Kalau nak kata saya sombong, kata je la. But we both never had a ny deal yang lepas kahwin me kne jadi Malaysian or he has to convert to be Indonesian. No, never. So we both will stick to our own citizenship which me, myself, I can't leave a country yang dah besarkan diri me, with all their positivity and negativity, it still tumpah darah saya gak. Takde juga macam orang cakap nak kahwin ngan orang Malaysia for better living. Not at all... I've been happy enough with what I had back home. If I have to be honest, apa yang ada kat my hometown is better than what I had here. Me xpernah kekurangan sikit pon in my entire life. It was like, apepon yang me nak, me bole dapatkan kat sana...

Everything is just because of 'garisan dari Allah' that I had to met Mr Red Ribbon.

Fate tue yang buat me xpernah nak question yang whether hidup me nie lagi baik duduk kat KL or kat Jakarta... I look both as the same...

Probably selepas kahwin pon me akan regularly balik, I won't be a person yang dah duduk jauh pastue lupakan family, lupekan kawan2, lupekan tanah air...

Insyaallah...

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Went to Malaysia Immigration, Putrajaya

That day, a day before CNY, me and Mr Red Ribbon went to Putrajaya.

Mr Red Ribbon worked for half day coz we really need to collect some information from Malaysia Immigration Office there.

After lunch time he fetched me and we went straight away to Putrajaya.

Sempat bergambar kat depan ofis imigresen hehe...

We actually went there to collect info:

- Can I continue study after I married a Malaysian?

- How are the procedure to get married?

We spoke with one customer service officer/lady (she also the one that I talked to when I went there few years back, asking for how to get work permit to work in my previous company when I worked as an intern), she said it is easy after I got married I will get a long term stay visa but I can re-convert it back to student visa so that I can continue my study. But she said I will be 'rugi' coz actually I will get permanent resident status after 5-10 years. So if I chose to have student visa, my staying in Malaysia will be a waste.

I told her I don't mind with that. My concern is more to finish my study not to get permanent resident status (even I know if I get this I will get more benefit as much as Malaysian). Nevermind, whatever it is, study is still my priority.

So now, I just need to reconfirm this matter to college.

Then the lady ask us to get a form for Mr Red Ribbon to marry non Malaysian:

Here is where he was getting the form from.

And this is how the form looks like...

After that we went to Jabatan Agama Islam to get some info regarding the marriage as well.

And they gave us the list of to do list and things to prepare to register our marriage later.

They advice us to just go to Selangor's office since we both living in Selangor, not Putrajaya.

So if the akad nikah at Jakarta, then Mr Red Ribbon will only have to register back when he came back to Malaysia, no need to do akad nikah twice (note that, Mr Red Ribbon...)

Hufff...

It's getting hotter here. As some problems suddenly came...

What we need to do is trying to relax. Pray. And do our best. 

It's all just dugaan from Allah...

Hope we can face it...

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