Stressful Breastfeeding?

Assalamualaikum...

I salute every mother out there yang ada baby dan masih sempat berblogging, masih sempat bekerja kat office, masih sempat menjana pendapatan untuk membantu suami, masih sempat active dalam social organisation, masih sempat rajin beractivity, masih sempat fulltime menjadi housewife yang betul2 bole manage masa yang ada...

I personally think I'm not that perfect.

So, after more than a week, or probably 2weeks ke?

Now I finally have time to write...

And this is all because I need some space too to write something that always bothering my mind, something that some might think this is not important, but for me this means a lot.

This is about breast feeding...

Warning: before you read this, I'm begging you to not be a formula-feeder-hater. Everyone face different situation in their life and I'm trying to give my best for my baby. So please help me to find a solution but not condemn me...

FEW HOURS AFTER DELIVER BABY RAFI

Nurse asked me to breastfeed Rafi, I tried so hard tapi susu badan kuar sikit je...

Nurse pon suggest untuk tambah susu formula pakai string.

Memang sedih, baru few hours je umur Rafi, dah minum susu formula.

Tapi me taknak dia dehydrated plak, lagi pon hari tue lepas bersalin Rafi xbole balik rumah, kne admit 3hari, so betul2 xnak buat dia makin sakit kalau xminum susu.

BABY ARRIVED HOME

Baby sampai rumah, my susu supply masih je sedikit.

Dah minum susu (me ambil susu biasa je cam HL, dutch lady, bukan susu tepung sbb me xbiasa minum susu tepung, sangat2 mual), dah minum jamu, makan sayur daun katuk (nature recipe utk tambah air susu) siap tanam daun katuk tue kat depan rumah, memang ada penambahan sikit, but still susu formula takes a great part sebab Rafi kuat sangat minum.

Some people said, "biasa la tue baby boy kuat minum" tapi some said that I shouldn't give Rafi susu formula, coz this and that, susu badan lagi bagus (well I'm definitely aware susu badan IS FAR MORE BETTER than susu formula, but in this situation yang supply susu badan sikit, should I left Rafi kelaparan?)

Day by day, me pump susu, so at least lau masuk bottle, Rafi happy masa minum.

Cian dia tiap2 menyusu badan baru je kejap dah menangis kepenatan, hisap2 kuar sikit je...

And this is goes on and on sampai 1 bulan...

ONE MONTH CLINIC CHECK UP

Masa bagi tahu nurse keadaan camni, nurse marah dan cakap how come susu badan sikit?

I said I don't know memang sikit...

So dia paksa juga me untuk breastfeed baby, bagi baby hisap so susu automatically akan bertambah juga.

Dia tak marah pon me pakai extra susu formula, just nak lebihkan portion susu badan.

Alhamdulillah, ada la orang yang bagi support.

After these while, me rasa orang2 terdekat xberapa support utk betul2 breastfeed baby.

Yang ada, bole marah je,without giving me any good advice.

Lagi wat me stress, lagi la susu tue xkuar...

BABY ONE MONTH - TWO MONTHS

Dalam satu bulan ini, on and off breastfeed.

Rafi makin kuat menyusu, tapi selepas hari tue balik daripada klinik dan paksa bf Rafi (2-3 hari me biar dia menangis2 menjerit2 nak susu formula xnak susu badan, sakit dan sedih hati tengok nangis2 bole sampai 1 jam xberenti) lama2 dia nak sikit2 minum susu badan, alhamdulillah...

Tapi... just 1 day sebelum gi klinik utk check up 2bulan, tetibe Rafi cirit birit.

Dah tue malamnye demam, suhu sampai nak cecah 38'...

Bawa gi clinic, doc cakap ok je normal suhu 37.1' dan dia bagi paracetamol.

Malam tue juga Rafi ok balik...

The next day gi clinic utk 2 months check up pon, xde ape sangat...

But, lepas few days cirit biritnye berkurang, dan dah tukar bagi susu formula yang (rasanya) lagi elok, Rafi dah xnak bf lagi...

Before this ingatkan sebab sakit je, so I just waited sampai dia sihat.

Tengok2, dia xnak langsung, menangis kuat tengok me dah siap2 nak bf dia.

Macam trauma, ade la... Tapi trauma from what???

I just cant remember anything yang  bole dia jadi trauma cam tu...

And this is goes on and on start from 2 months tue sampai sekarang almost 2 months 3weeks usia Rafi.

SEDIH HATI MAMA

Rafi, sedih hati  mama, rase macam I'm not a 100% perfect mother coz I'm not bf-ing my baby, and this is so stressful.

Even so, based on experience, I always try to take it easy.

I smile everytime I try to bf him, and he refused.

I still call him a good boy everytime he cried and pushed me away.

I know if I stress then it would worsen the situation.

Last week, I finally found this product:

Which is quite good actually for babies yang dah terbiasa ngan puting botol.

Me letak bende nie kat mulut baby, and dia nak hisap.

But the bad news is, now my susu badan dah berenti, dah xkuar lagi.

Which is so sad, lambat sangat me jumpe product nie...

Sekarang nie nak keep on ikhtiar while bertanya2, browsing2...

Is it possible utk susu badan yang dah berhenti keluar someday leh keluar lagi?

What kind of thing yang me bole buat utk dapatkan susu tue semula?

One more thing, kat Malaysia nie ada clinic ke organisation utk breastfeeding x? Yang bole bagi step by step guidance sampai baby nak breastfeed lagi.

Penat googling around, same advices, tapi xbole apply kat my baby, guess every baby ada character sendiri2 and how to deal with it pon lain2 cara, that's why I think I need to find a place and person/doctor yang bole guide me day by day...

All mommies and bloggers, doakan saya leh bf baby lagi yer.

Teriris hati tiap2 jumpe mommies lain dan tanya bf ke formula?

When I said formula and she said bf, I was sooo desperate :(

Ya Allah... berikanlah yang terbaik untuk baby Rafi...

Whatever it is...

Posted in: baby,problem,Raffi,story