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bukan gambar perut saya hokay...
for illustration purposes only...
I just can't hide the feeling that I'm so PARNO thinking of my pregnancy.
What is 'PARNO' anyway?
It's Indonesian language,slang word, which I don't know how to translate into English or BM.
Hehehe... it's a bad feeling towards something which occur coz of some bad experiences happened before.
Agak2 macam tue la...
As I wrote earlier that these days I heard so many news from people close to me, my best friends, my relatives yang diorang miscarriage...
Two of them baby dah 5 months inside their tummy, one of them even dah 8 months, and latest one sama2 ngan me, just few weeks aged.
Honestly, I'm so scared.
Isnin lepas, I decided to find new doctor for my pregnancy check up.
Coz last time pegi, the baby was about 6 weeks old.
I read from internet 5 weeks can hear heart beat already but she didn't mention anything.
And latest case my family tue miscarriage when she found out the baby's heart wasn't beating at 8 weeks.
Dah penat2 gi Bangi nak tukar doctor tengok2 kne wat appointment ngan gynecologist yang baru.
So datang sia2 je :(
Tak puas hati, malam tue drop by plak kat my friend's house which is happen to be a doctor.
Pinjam stetoskop nie, try to search the baby's heart beat.
Sempat kena marah ngan dia coz it is not right for me to worry too much about the baby.
And kebanyakan case 3 bulan baru bole dengar heart beat baby.
I just feel so scared of my pregnancy.
Mr Red Ribbon dah sering cakap to relax a bit.
I just couldn't do that :(