Thursday, October 21, 2010

I'm afraid of marriage :(


Sometimes when I think about marriage, I became so stressful. Think to much on how negative it will be. The most fear of a marriage for me is that my husband will leave me for another woman or just lie behind my back. And I really hate liar!

Those bad imaginations have sent me to this state where I asked myself,

"ARE YOU READY TO BE HURT?"

What? I'm looking at settling down, being loved and also loving someone. Not just giving myself to a person that will hurt me in future. I don't wanna be hurt. No...

Experiences has thought me lots of things. Experiences bring positive also negative expression to us. It's just the matter how we react to them. And through all the journey of mine, meeting some guys, what I experienced was... I've been hurted many times. I was with a guy and he went out with another girl as well, and it happened twice. Felt so hurt til I thought I would never fall in love again.

Those experiences make me more cautious in choosing a guy. To be a picky-type of woman, I must say, yes... Sometimes I feel like all those bad memories I had, I really need to let go. I wish I could forget. Eventhough things happened and I forgive, I still can't forget. And it's adding up my fear of marriage.

Hmm... that's what I feel now...
*A bit hopeless*
Hope I can forgive and forget. But I just can't...


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